Self-care for busy moms doesn’t have to be an unattainable, lofty goal. Below I’m going to share some ways that self-care can be turned into everyday routines resulting in the ultimate and realistic balance we all crave.
Let’s Be Real When Talking About Self-Care
Mom life can get crazy! Balance, self-care, and all of the fluffy things in life are not always easy to come by. Between caring for my baby, learning my baby, learning the new me, cooking, laundry, cleaning, bill paying, sleep deprivation, blah, blah, blah, the list goes on and on… The idea of having to “work” at self-care, schedule it into my already busy week can be a non-starter.
However, when I let my self-care take a back seat, I feel empty, depleted, and sometimes resentful.
It didn’t take too long for me to realize that something in this equation needed to change.
The answer? Changing my mindset of what self-care is.
What on Earth is Self-Care?
It is easy to get caught up in the idea of self-care. Self-care is fancy and it sells. It sells beauty products and is ultimately a fantasy of the consumer world.
Society likes to tell me that self-care for busy moms is a beauty mask, bubble bath, spa-day. But reality tells me I don’t have time every day for a beauty mask and bubble bath. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good, long and hot bath. But I’m going on day 3 where I told myself, “tonight I am going to have a bath.”
My evenings just don’t always pan out like my wish list intends.
Self-care for busy moms is a completely different cup of tea.
My motherhood reality has resulted in yes, I shower, sometimes every day if I’m lucky. I brush my teeth, even if some days it doesn’t happen until 1 pm. I eat healthy when I can, and I genuinely like being around me. Is this all self-caring enough?
My problem with the beauty mask, bubble bath, spa-day concept of self-care is that if I don’t have the time for such indulgences then do I miss out on self-care?
Heck no! I’m going down the route that we can actually give ourselves doses of self-care throughout the day if we allow ourselves to shift our mindset of what self-care is.
Self-Care: The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.
Why Can’t Self-Care Be Every Day?
Self-care is anything that contributes to your mental, physical and emotional well-being. Don’t we want to do this every day? We wish this for our children and do everything possible to contribute to their well-being but it is so easy to put our own needs to the side. Why can’t self-care for busy moms be something that can happen every day?
There is value in shifting our self-care mindset. Instead of the grand, once-a-week/month event, we can shift the approach and begin putting a value on the little things we do every day that fill up our well.
Why is Self-Care for Busy Moms Important?
Self-care is important because it brings balance to our lives. When self-care is not prioritized, or when we are neglecting our own self-care, the effects are seen in our physical and emotional health.
Stressors and anxiety are heightened, often leaving us feeling depleted.
The Different Types of Self-Care
I try to approach my self-care in terms of my overall wellness. Seems daunting but if I do it through the 8 Dimensions of Wellness, that I describe in my Guide to the Wellness of Motherhood, everything comes together.
It is the easiest, most through-line way for me to tap into all of the pillars of my life.
The 8 Dimensions of Wellness are:
- Physical – taking care of your physical body
- Intellectual – learning and growing intellectually
- Emotional – understanding and respecting your emotional state
- Social – sustaining healthy relationships with your community/tribe
- Spiritual – maintaining meaning and purpose in your life
- Vocational – work provides a sense of satisfaction
- Financial – healthy relationship with money by learning new skills to make responsible financial decisions
- Environment – respecting your environment and surroundings
Self-Care and the 8 Dimensions
When applying self-care through the lens of the 8 Dimensions, there is NO WAY it can be the same cookie-cutter take a bath recipe for everyone.
When using this approach, every day can be a self-care day as I am able to get sips of self-care while honoring the various aspects of my life.
For example, here is what self-care looks like for me using the 8 Dimensions:
Physical
Taking 10 minutes to stretch. My hips, back, and shoulders can get really tight from breastfeeding and picking up Baby M. A few minutes on my foam roller and stretching is self-care to me.
Intellectual
I would love to say reading a book, but the reality these days is getting through a magazine article is what brings me joy. I am able to quickly tap into another world and learn a thing or two along the way.
In addition, listening to podcasts while Baby M and I are out for our walks is another great way to tap into my intellect.
Emotional
The other day I asked myself, “How are you?” I answered, “Great!” I immediately asked again, “How are you?” Pause. “I’m freakin’ tired as heck and borderline depleted.” Phew, well, felt good to honestly get that one out!
One can only begin to know which direction to go emotionally once they honestly know where they are starting from.
Therefore, admitting that I was tired and depleted allowed me to respect my emotional state.
Social
The pandemic has altered my motherhood journey expectations. Not being able to have a “mommy tribe” can be very isolating.
I’ve been known to chase down a woman or two with a stroller as I am out walking. My husband jokes that I am going to come off as desperate. I am. Lol. There is no shame in my game.
Recently, I met two moms in the neighborhood with babies the same age as Baby M and we have met up for neighborhood walks. Game changer.
Spiritual
Connecting mind, body, and soul. Some days this looks like a walk outside or a quick yoga class. Some days it is giving me 10 minutes to sit in silence. Other days it is practicing forgiveness.
Vocational
As simple as checking off a task on my work to-do list can be fulfilling. It doesn’t always happen, so I need to recognize it as a win when it does.
Financial
Automating bill payments. Not a sexy self-care but doing it freed up so much mental space and worry of missing payments.
Environment
Decluttering my desk is a big one for me. When I have a clear space to work my mind is less distracted.
RELATED: Guide to the Wellness of Motherhood
What Does Self-Care Look Like for You?
Focusing on the self of it all gives us permission to individualize the concept of self-care.
Take a moment and ask yourself, what makes me happy and fulfilled? What can I do right now that will relieve some stress and make space for something else? What are the simple things that I sneak in when I can because I know I love it? The answers to these questions are what can make up your self-care.
I love referring to the Well Mom Checklist. It covers all the basics for checking in with yourself.
Some Ideas of Self-Care for Busy Moms
Taking an exercise class; skipping your exercise class :); brewing a cup of tea– and actually drinking it; listening to a book on tape; journaling; calling a close friend for a 5-minute catch-up; crying out loud; asking for help;
creating a monthly budget; saying no to something so you can say yes to what you really want; going to bed 30 minutes earlier than you did the night before;
enjoying a glass of wine; eating your favorite pasta dish (guilt-free); baking sweets; washing your hair; taking a long shower; and yes, enjoying a bath.
However you answer your self-care questions- tap into the 8 Dimensions of Wellness for the ultimate self-care balance. And know that you can get sips of self-care every day.
What are your self-care for busy mom ideas? Drop a line below- Share your whispers, I’d love to know!